You ask me if I am angry... there is no anger inside.. just disappointment. Not blaming you coz you want piracy yet I force myself into your peace.
You are honest to me that you want to be alone, despite that I am already sitten there. You ask to loan $20, despite that you ask me to leave. You ask me if I will go home or wait for you. My answer was uncertain cause you will have the sudden feel to want to go home yourself. But knowing me, do you think I won't wait for you?
You said to give your time of alone, then you tell me what happened when you are ready. My brain just register... not again.. will you ready tell me in the end? Or am I the one to ask you then you remember? Or you will just totally forget what happened... Somemore, you are going away.. by the time you are back.. will you tell me?
As I left and wait for the lift. I got jealous.. Do you want to talk to Mathews? I told myself not to think this way.. you really are stress and need some time off.
I waited at the lobby, waiting for your call half asleep. You call. I did not catch your first line, I guess it something like where I am or have I gone home. You then tell me that Mathews want to fetch you home. I am disappointment once more. (telling myself.. who ask you to wait for her. see la you make yourselves disspointed) Then I tell you to refuse his offer and said that someone will fetch you home. But your reply is you will sit his car home.
My heart just die. (coz I am just stupid....) I took my stuff and get on a taxi and went home. I got angry. Am I your friend? I already said to refuse his offer and I will fetch you home, yet you cannot say 'No' to Mathew. You were angry with me many times becoz I cannot say No to other. Now you yourselves is the same. Ya. the car is more comfortable then the taxi, Ya he is Mathew. the man you want to marry. Of coz you seek all opportunity to talk to him, to have fun with him. Seriously, how you treat Mathew is how you treat me last time. When you like someone, you tend to disturb him. You techique never change. I hope you wont sink yourselves in falling too deeply in love with him. It is another forbidden love. You know it.
I just disappointed to know that this was how the friday is spend. You ask that person leave, loan $20, then finally ask that person to go home alone, coz you cannot refuse another person offer of a ride home. I only can blame myself that I am the one asking for it.. coz you never once did ask me to wait for you. You only ask me to buy book, find shoe, and go home.
Are you saying I am not considering that you are stress. Are you saying that I do not understand you? I hear from you alot. It is no suprise that you will think this way after you read the previous paragraph. If I have mistaken anything, I wonder will you explain to me... or you just lazy to do so.
You know very well my feeling for you. The moment you said seventh months is coming and you always have to go home very late. That is why I die die want to send you home. I don't know how much did you hear that night. coz you always sleep when I talk. even you listen, you will forget the next morning.
Yes. I am worry about you. I want you to sms me at least three times per day when you are in Malaysia. I know I will be waiting and even disppointed. But no choice as you will be busy with duty and then will be tired. Just take care of yourselves and eat enough and drink enough.
By saying all this in the blog.. will our friendship die faster......
